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US Mall 1 - Difficult Conversations
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List Price: $29.95
Our Price: $16.50
Your Save: $ 13.45 ( 45% )
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Manufacturer: Random House Audio
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Audio CD
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780553456127
Format: Abridged
ISBN: 0553456121
Label: Random House Audio
Manufacturer: Random House Audio
Number Of Items: 5
Publication Date: 1999-04-06
Publisher: Random House Audio
Release Date: 1999-04-06
Studio: Random House Audio
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Everyone should be able to learn and benefit from this Difficult Conversation book. I wish I had read this book earlier.
Comment: Have you ever feel nervous, fear of the consequence and/or in a dilema when trying to bring up this following examples of topics: asking for a raise, ending relationship, giving a critical performance review, confronting disrespectful behavior, disagreeing with the majority in a group, apologizing, telling the painter not to smoke in your house, firing your employee who also happen to be your friend, and the list goes on..
The point is, whether it is as home, at work, at many other places in your daily life, difficult conversation occur everyday (and either it is attempted or avoided). One interesting concept that the writer brought up is that delivering a difficult message is like throwing a hand grenade, and whether it is coated with sugar or thrown hard or soft, it is still going to do damage (and there is no such thing as a diplomatic hand grenade).
While this book doesn't promise to solve all the problem that you have with your difficult conversation, I believe this book will help pretty much everyone in one level or another. Having said that, in the end, the result will depend on how we are applying and adapting the principles that were described by the author. I personally have applied some of the learning from this book and have seen positive result, and I do wish I have read this book earlier.
Now let me give a summary on the content of the book (without giving it all away of course):
In handling difficult conversation (disagreement, argument etc), these following steps should be taken to improve the outcome of the conversation (before any problem solving effort should take place):
1. Discussing what actually happened (go to the bottom of the "ladder of inference" and talk about the facts only, and not our observation, interpretation, or conclusion of the facts)
2. Do not ignore the feelings (many times, the issue is deeper that it appears, and that feelings are at the heart of difficult conversation, so acknowledge them, for both parties)
3. Utilize the "Contribution" concept (instead of blaming or being defensive)
4. Self-introspection (have the identity conversation and what this situation mean to us)
5. Really listen to what the other party is saying and their story (without filtering it with your inference and internal voice)
6. Say what you mean (don't expect the other party to mind read you) and be authentic
7. Assume positive intent and try to manage your internal voice
The book talks a lot more detail (of strategies) about each item and the tactical example for each of them. Also on the problem solving section and to create the learning conversation once all the facts has been laid out appropriately.
Hope you will be able to turn your difficult conversation into learning conversation,
Sidarta Tanu
Customer Rating:
Summary: Full of how to's
Comment: Definitely on my recommended book list. A must read for women in business.
Susan Bock
The Success Coach for Women in Business
www.SusanBockSolutions.com
Customer Rating: 
Summary: Good Reference
Comment: Good reference book with some good advice in it. I would recommend it for someone having to deal with some really difficult folks!
Customer Rating:
Summary: conversations
Comment: It is intense with good information, should be read slowly in order to incorporate suggested language into daily routine.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Looking forward to great results!
Comment: This book helped me to recognize where some of my previous conversations have gone wrong and should help me gain the foresight I need to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. Also a book that have a great chapter about this topic is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
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Editorial Reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Everyone should be able to learn and benefit from this Difficult Conversation book. I wish I had read this book earlier.
Comment: Have you ever feel nervous, fear of the consequence and/or in a dilema when trying to bring up this following examples of topics: asking for a raise, ending relationship, giving a critical performance review, confronting disrespectful behavior, disagreeing with the majority in a group, apologizing, telling the painter not to smoke in your house, firing your employee who also happen to be your friend, and the list goes on..
The point is, whether it is as home, at work, at many other places in your daily life, difficult conversation occur everyday (and either it is attempted or avoided). One interesting concept that the writer brought up is that delivering a difficult message is like throwing a hand grenade, and whether it is coated with sugar or thrown hard or soft, it is still going to do damage (and there is no such thing as a diplomatic hand grenade).
While this book doesn't promise to solve all the problem that you have with your difficult conversation, I believe this book will help pretty much everyone in one level or another. Having said that, in the end, the result will depend on how we are applying and adapting the principles that were described by the author. I personally have applied some of the learning from this book and have seen positive result, and I do wish I have read this book earlier.
Now let me give a summary on the content of the book (without giving it all away of course):
In handling difficult conversation (disagreement, argument etc), these following steps should be taken to improve the outcome of the conversation (before any problem solving effort should take place):
1. Discussing what actually happened (go to the bottom of the "ladder of inference" and talk about the facts only, and not our observation, interpretation, or conclusion of the facts)
2. Do not ignore the feelings (many times, the issue is deeper that it appears, and that feelings are at the heart of difficult conversation, so acknowledge them, for both parties)
3. Utilize the "Contribution" concept (instead of blaming or being defensive)
4. Self-introspection (have the identity conversation and what this situation mean to us)
5. Really listen to what the other party is saying and their story (without filtering it with your inference and internal voice)
6. Say what you mean (don't expect the other party to mind read you) and be authentic
7. Assume positive intent and try to manage your internal voice
The book talks a lot more detail (of strategies) about each item and the tactical example for each of them. Also on the problem solving section and to create the learning conversation once all the facts has been laid out appropriately.
Hope you will be able to turn your difficult conversation into learning conversation,
Sidarta Tanu
Customer Rating:
Summary: Full of how to's
Comment: Definitely on my recommended book list. A must read for women in business.
Susan Bock
The Success Coach for Women in Business
www.SusanBockSolutions.com
Customer Rating:
Summary: Good Reference
Comment: Good reference book with some good advice in it. I would recommend it for someone having to deal with some really difficult folks!
Customer Rating:
Summary: conversations
Comment: It is intense with good information, should be read slowly in order to incorporate suggested language into daily routine.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Looking forward to great results!
Comment: This book helped me to recognize where some of my previous conversations have gone wrong and should help me gain the foresight I need to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. Also a book that have a great chapter about this topic is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
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